And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm jealous of your bromance
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
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we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
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Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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