ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize