Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize