Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
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