yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Even my vagina gasped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize