I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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