Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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