Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize