Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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