i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize