I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
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Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
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You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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