I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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