Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
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