Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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