did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
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We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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