I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
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Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
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We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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