Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
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After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
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Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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