Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better not be in your backpack
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize