People in love make me want to vomit
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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