You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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