I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize