mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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