i don't like sucking hair
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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