She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
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I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
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