We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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