Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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