I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize