Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize