our cab driver is having phone sex.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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