I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize