I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My dick has a subreddit
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