I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
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