somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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