I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
BRING THE BAGELS
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize