you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize