Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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