Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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