Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize