we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You've changed since you got that strap on
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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