Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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