Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
No subtext here. People are naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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