woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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