last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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