he told me I talked like a deaf person
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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