Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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