Sponge bath it is.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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