I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
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Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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