Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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