Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
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