never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
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Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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